Lawak

Juruterbang sengal !!

Pesawat Air Lines sedang mengalami gangguan enjin di udara. "May day,may day,may day...!!",terdengar juruterbang siarkan S.O.S melalui radio.
"Pesanan anda didengar jelas,"kata petugas dek menara pengawas,"Harap beritahukan tinggi dan posisi anda segera..!!"
"Ya,baik,"jawab juruterbang itu,"Saya tinggi 1.8 cm dan saya duduk di kerusi yang paling depan!"


Hang Tuah dan adik beradik

Berabad lamanya kita telah di tipu oleh sejarah.
Kita di fahamkan Hang Tuah 5 bersaudara, rupa-rupanya 7 bersaudara...
ikutilah Hikayat 7 Bersaudara
Setelah kajian dilakukan oleh sekumpulan penyelidik sejarah Melayu Melaka, di dapati percanggahan tengtang Hang Tuah selama ini , ini kerana Hang Tuah mempunyi 2 orang lagi saudara.

Berikut di senaraikan nama saudara tersebut :-

1. Hang Tuah
2. Hang Jebat
3. Hang Kasturi
4. Hang Lekir
5. Hang Lekiu
6. Hang Baca
7. Hang Bengong

Itulah penemuan sejarah terpenting di abad ini......


NENEK dan sales girl !!

Seorang nenek menaiki lif dalam sebuah bangunan pejabat yang sangat esklusip di PJ.Seorang perempuan muda dan cantik juga naik, berbau sangat wangi seperti jenama yang mahal, berpaling kepada nenek itu dan berkata dengan megahnya,"Giorgio - Beverly Hills, RM300 untuk 10ml"

Seterusnya seorang lagi perempuan muda dan cantik masuk ke dalam lif, juga berbau sangat wangi dan dengan megahnya menoleh kepada nenek itu dan berkata, "Chanel No.5, RM450 untuk 10ml"

Selang tiga tingkat nenek itu pun sampai ke destinasi. Sebelum keluar, dia melihat kepada dua orang perempuan itu, membongkok sedikit kemudian mengeluarkan satu bau yang amat meloyakan.
"Tempoyak, 95 sen untuk 100gram."kata nenek dengan poyonya

Jokes !!

Ladies hostel caught Fire. It took 1 hour to bring the
fire under control and another 3 hours to bring the
firemen under control.

===============================

Wife: If I sleep with your best friend what will be
the first thought to come in your mind?

Husband: that you are a lesbian.

===============================

Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps
in the U.S ???

Because the people started licking the wrong side!

===============================

Girl to hungry boyfriend: If my right leg was
afternoon meal & left leg evening meal what would you prefer?
Boyfriend: Eating between meals !!!!

===============================

Nobody is ever satisfied, Poor men wish they were
rich, Rich men wish they were handsome, Bachelors wish they were
married &
Married men wish they were Dead!

===============================

How do you teach a girl maths? Add a bed, subtract
her clothes, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your
solution
and
hope she doesn't multiply!

===============================

Lady : "I want a good vibrator" Salesman: "Ma'am !
you may select one from our range that is displayed on that wall"

Lady : "O.K. I'll take that red one"

Salesman: "Sorry, that's our fire-extinguisher";

===============================

A divorced Couple were contesting for possession of
the child. The mother said: "I gave birth to him - he's mine"

The father said: "I put a coin in the pepsi machine
and a can comes out - the pepsi belongs to me! not to the
machine !!"

===============================

A girl says to her boyfriend, "One kiss and I'll be
yours forever."

The guy says 'thanks for the warning'

===============================

A Husband Was Asked: "Do you talk to your wife
after sex?"

He replied: "Depends, If I Can find a Phone"

===============================

Definition of a Gynecologist: Someone who looks for
problems where

others look for pleasure!!!

===============================

Man to wife on wedding night- "Are you sure I'm the
first man you are sleeping with?'

"Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the
others!'

Hahahahahhhhhhhhh..............

Kisah Burung Kakak Tua Yg Bajet Cerdik

Ada seekor burung kakak tua yang sangat cerdik dan mempunyai pandangan mata yang sangat tajam sehingga boleh menembusi apa-apa halangan yang menutup matanya (Transparent le tu...)
Setiap pagi burung ini akan bertenggek di dalam sangkarnya yang tergantung di tingkap. Rumah tuan punye burung ni terletak di antara sekolah rendah dan kuaters guru

Setiap pagi ada 3 orang Cikgu melintas di hadapan rumah tuan punye burung ni dari sekolah ke kuaters guru, oleh itu hari-hari lah burung ni perhati 3 orang Cikgu yang bertutup litup tuh ke hulu ke hilir... ke hulu, ke hilir.....

Setiap hari burung ni tengok Cikgu-Cikgu tu atas bawah, atas bawah.. Bila dia boring dia menyanyi -nyanyi.... tak pun, dia akan baca skrip cerita sembilu 2... lama-lama makin boring pulak... so dia ternampak le si Cikgu-Cikgu tu berderet jalan slow-slow nak pergi ke sekolah

Burung ni pun kuyu-kuyukan mata dia...then tonyoh tonyoh sikit mata dia...dah tu dia kibas-kibas kan kepak dia...pas tu dia jerit kuat-kuat....

"BELANG!! PUTIH!! BIRU!!!"

Cikgu-Cikgu tadi sama-sama menoleh ke arah burung tu dan pandang ke depan semula. Mereka jalan cepat-cepat... Sampai di sekolah mereka cuma saling pandang memandang.....

Keesokan harinya Cikgu-Cikgu tu pun macam biasa lalu depan burung tu lagi. Bila balik ke rumah kuaters guru, burung tu buat dek je... bila time Cikgu ni nak ke sekolah, burung tu jerit lagi.......

"PUTIH!!! BUNGA-BUNGA!!! PINK!!!"

Cikgu-Cikgu tu terkejut dog... dan berjalan cepat-cepat lagi... sampai di sekolah depa pun tanya sesama depa.....Cikgu pertama bercakap "camna burung kakak tua tu tau warna sepender yang kita pakai?" Cikgu kedua menjawab "Tak tau pulak .... ahli sihir ke apa ntah....." .

Cikgu ketiga mencelah "Alah ..kebetulan je agaknyer..... tak pe, kita tengok besok pulak camana..."

Keesokan hari nya macam biasa... pagi-pagi Cikgu-Cikgu tu lalu depan rumah burung tu.... burung tengah bersenam memusing-musingkan kepaknya 360 darjah........"Iyah! iyah! lapan lapan lagi... satu...dua..." dan seterusnya.

Bila time Cikgu ni nak ke sekolah, lalu lagi depan burung.... Burung pun tengok.... dia jerit lagi..

KELABU!! HIJAU!! PURPLE!!"

Cikgu-Cikgu berlari-lari anak tanpa menoleh ke kiri dan ke kanan. Setiba di sekolah guru mereka berbicara lagi...Cikgu pertama "Memang betul apa yang burung tu cakap.... heh, apa nak buat hah?". Cikgu kedua "Kita mesti buat something untuk uji burung tu...".Cikgu ketiga...."Aku tau... apa kata esok kita semua pakai color hitam". "Okey...Set!!!!!" balas depa.....

Keesokan harinya......sama juga.... bila time ke selokah, burung tu jerit lagi...

HITAM!!HITAM!!!HITAM!!!!"

Cikgu-Cikgu tu berlari anak lagi....di sekolah mereka berbincang.... Cikgu pertama "Nampak nya burung tu mempunyai pandangan mata yang transparent..." . Cikgu kedua "Atau pun dia cuma boleh kenal warna....". Cikgu ketiga..."Betul tu, mungkin dia dah di latih untuk meneka warna, tapi tidak dilatih untuk meneka bentuk. Kengkawan, apa kata esok kita jangan pakai sepender langsung."

"Orait!! Set!!" depa jawab.

Keesokan hari nya, lagi sekali macam biasa Di waktu pagi burung buat dek je.... bila time Cikgu-Cikgu tu nak ke sekolah, burung tu tengok.... ditenungnye lama-lama...Cikgu-Cikgu tu mula tersenyum dan jalan slow-slow......sambil toleh-toleh kat burung tu...burung tu tengok lagi.... dia naik-naikkan matamacam Ziana Zain gitu....dah tu pusing belakang... dia tengok lagi dengan cara menonggeng.....dah tu dia pandang ke

depan balik.... dia garu-garu kepala...dah tu usap-usap dagu.....dia cekak pinggang..... dah tu burung tu pegang dagu lagi...pastu dia senyum.....dia jerit lagi kuat kali ni...

"LURUS!!! LURUS!! KERINTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Cikgu-Cikgu ni terus lari sampai tak cukup tanah gamak nyer.....

DURANI

DURANI, or DURRANI, the dominant race of Afghans, to which the ruling family at Kabul belongs. The Duranis number 100,000 fighting men, and have two branches, the Zirak and the Panjpai. To the former section belong the Popalzai, Alikozai, Barakzai and Achakzai; and to the latter the Nurzai, Alizai, Isakzai, Khokani and Maku tribes. The Saddozai clan of the Popalzai Duranis furnished the first independent shahs of the Durani dynasty (A.D. 1747), the Barakzais furnishing the amirs.

The line of the shahs was overthrown in the third generation (A.D. 1834), after a protracted period of anarchy and dissension, which broke out on the death in A.D. 1773 of Ahmad Shah Durani, the founder of Afghan national independence.

Bar Durani is a name sometimes applied to the independent Pathan tribes who inhabit the hill districts south of the Hindu Kush, parts of the Indus valley, the Salt Range, and the range of Suliman, which were first conceded to them by Ahmad Shah. Bar Durani includes the Yusafzai, Utman Khel, Tarkanis, Mohmands, Afridis, Orakzais and Shinwaris, as well as the Pathan tribes of the plains of Peshawar and those of Bangash and Khattak, although the derivation. of some of these tribes from the true Durani stock is doubtful.

AFRIDI

A Pathan tribe inhabiting the mountains on the Peshawar border of the North-West Frontier province of India. The Afridis are the most powerful and independent tribe on the border, and the largest with the exception of the Waziris. Their special country is the lower and easternmost spurs of the Safed Koh range, to the west and south of the Peshawar district, including the Bazar and Bara valleys. On their east -they are bounded by British districts, on the north by the Mohmands, on the west by the Shinwaris and on the south by the Orakzai and Bangash tribes. Their origin is obscure, but they are said to have Israelitish blood in their veins, and they have a decidedly Semitic cast of features. They are possibly the Aparytai of Herodotus, the names and positions being identical. If this theory is correct, they were then a powerful people, and held a large tract of country, but have been gradually driven back by the encroachments of other tribes. The tribe is divided into the following eight clans:Kuki Khel, Malikdin Khel, Kambar Khel, Kamar Khel, Zakka Rhel (the most numerous and the most turbulent), Sipah, Aka Khel and Adam Khel. The first seven clans live in the vicinity of the Khyber Pass, and migrate to Tirah in the summer months. The Adam Khel (5900 fighting men) live round the Kohat Pass, and are more settled and less migratory in their habits. In appearance the Afridi is a fine, tall, athletic highlander with a long, gaunt face, high nose and cheek-bones, and a fair complexion. On his own hillside he is one of the finest skirmishers in the world, and in the Indian army makes a first-rate soldier, but he is apt to be home-sick when removed from the air of his native mountains. In character the Afridi has obtained an evil name for ferocity, craft and treachery, but Colonel Sir Robert Warburton, who lived eighteen years in charge of the Khyber Pass and knew the Afridi better than any other Englishman, says:" The Afridi lad from his 1 So Eusebius, Syncellus says Alexander Severus.

Where'd You Go

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself tryna stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Hallowe'en with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once in a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
Anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find you have somethin' to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For while you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you'll can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...

Medical Leave For Fifa Worldcup !

The World Islands are a collection of man-made islands shaped into the continents of the world, located off the coast of Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. It will consist of 300 small private artificial islands divided into four categories - private homes, estate homes, dream resorts, and community islands. Each island will range from 250,000 to 900,000 square feet (23,226 to 83,613 square meters) in size, with 50 to 100 metres (164 to 328 feet) of water between each island. It will cover a total area of 9 kilometers (5.4 miles) in length and 6 kilometers (3.6 miles) in width, surrounded by an oval shaped breakwater. The only means of transportation between the islands will be by marine or air transport.

The World Islands will be located 4 kilometers off the shore of Jumeirah, close to the Palm Jumeirah, between Burj Al Arab and Port Rashid at approximately 25°13 North and 55°10 East. Each island will be sold to selected private developers and are expected to have pricing beginning at AED 25 million (US$ 6.85 million), for the AED 6.6 billion (US$ 1.8 billion) project. Individuals who have purchased islands in the World Islands include Sir Richard Branson (Great Britain).

Learn more about The World Dubai by watching the video.

Quicktime [5Mb]

Windows Media [6Mb]

Expected Completion Date - In 2008
Real Estate Developer - Al Nakheel Properties [Al Nakheel Projects]
Location - Dubai, United Arab Emirates

Burj Dubai is set to be the world's tallest building and the centerpiece of the Gulf regions most prestigious urban development, entitled Downtown Dubai. The Arabic meaning for the word Burj is 'tower', which gives Burj Dubai a meaning of 'Dubai Tower' or 'Tower of Dubai'. Its exact height hasn't been disclosed but it has been confirmed that it will be over 700 meters tall and its design was influenced by the six petal desert flower.

Burj Dubai is being constructed on Sheikh Zayed Road, just after the first interchange (Defense Roundabout) and it will be surrounded by a man-made lake. It will also be surrounded by a combination of residential, commercial, hotel, entertainment and leisure outlets, along with open green spaces, water features, and pedestrian boulevards.

Burj Residence (The Residence)
The Burj Dubai Residence will be one the residential area of Downtown Dubai containing nine luxury freehold apartment towers with open water, calming greenery, state-of-the-art gyms, pools and spas. These towers will contain 1, 2 and 3 bedroom suites, penthouses, or villas.

Old Town
This development is located at the foot of Burj Dubai and will contain a variety of freehold properties, from low-rise three storey apartment buildings to exclusive mid-rise towers with penthouses. It will have traditional architecture and will have comfortable outdoor living areas like terraces and balconies. The development will also contain restaurant from five-star dining to outdoor cafes overlooking parks and waterways.

The Lofts (Loft Living)
The Lofts will be a series of double-storey freehold apartments along the 3.5 km (2.2 miles) long, 73 meter (240 feet) wide Burj Dubai Boulevard. It will be situated within an exclusive 3-tower complex of 27 to 30 storeys and raised from a 6-storey podium. The Lofts tower complex will offer one and two bedroom units with a maximum of 6 suites per floor, each with panoramic windows and outdoor balconies.

Dubai Mall
Downtown Dubai's major retail outlet will also be the world's largest shopping mall, which will cover 9 million square feet (836 thousand square meters). Burj Dubai Mall will have areas for leisure pursuits, including a world-class aquarium, fashion show arena, gold souk and an ice rink, as it intends to revolutionize the modern shopping experience.


Expected Completion Date - In 2008
Real Estate Developer - Emaar Properties
Location - Dubai, United Arab Emirates

Dear Friends.....read this nice joke

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up,everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour
coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and
when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no
balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable. so..don't think to be a politician.

A Woman Gets Pulled Over by a Police Officer and....


Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls
for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer
slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman
steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite
stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands
it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines
the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have
a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up
the owner.

Woman: Bet you the lying ba***rd told you I was speeding too.

Tahukah Anda..

1. Tahukah Anda dalam bahasa Inggeris dan Italy, jurugambar dikenali sebagai paparazi. Perkataan itu dipercayai diambil dari watak paparazzo dalam filem La Dolce Vita yang diterbitkan oleh Federico Fellini pada tahun 1960. Dalam bahasa melayu pula, ayah kepada seorang budak yang bernama Razzi juga boleh dikenali dengan nama papa Razzi.

2. Tahukah Anda bendera negara Denmark telah dicipta 700 tahun lampau, menjadikan bendera paling lama digunakan di dunia lebih lama daripada penggunaan susu cap bendera.

3. Tahukah Anda magnet ialah sejenis logam yang juga digelar besi berani. Sebagaimana namanya magnet ialah besi yang berani menarik butir-butir besi lain kearahnya. Bagaimanapun orang yang diupah untuk menarik kereta bukanlah magnet.

4. Tahukah Anda cicak memutuskan ekornya apabila diganggu. Apabila cicak menyedari yang dia diekori oleh sesuatu, ia akan memutuskan ekornya supaya benda itu tidak mengekorinya lagi atas alasan tanpa ekor sudah tentu ia tidak akan diekori lagi.

5. Tahukan anda bahawa seorang manusia normal tidak boleh menyentuh telinganya sendiri menggunakan siku.

6. Tahukah Anda burung dapat pulang ke sarangnya walaupun telah keluar kadangkala hingga beribu kilometer daripada sarangnya tanpa sesat atau silap walaupun tanpa bantuan kompas. Ini kerana setiap sarang burung mempunyai alamatnya yang tersendiri sebenarnya.

7. Tahukah Anda bunyi perkataan lempeng dan tempeleng adalah hampir sama walaupun ia berbeza dari segi rupa bentuknya. Tapi, walaubagaimanapun orang yang kena tempeleng masih boleh memakan lempeng apabila dia berasa lapar.

8. Tahukah Anda gunung berapi yang berusia tiga ratus tahun disahkan masih aktif untuk meletup. Tapi mengikut kajian ahli gunung, api elektrik di rumah kita tidak akan aktif jika tidak membayar bilnya selama tiga bulan.

9. Tahukah Anda orang yang tidak pernah kisah langsung tentang wang ringgit, pangkat, kedudukan dan harta dunia ialah Orang Utan.

10. Tahukah Anda ahli sains seluruh dunia bersepakat jika nasi ayam dimakan sewaktu lapar, perut kita akan mengalami satu tindakbalas yang berupa kekenyangan. Nasi ayam juga boleh digunakan sebagai ubat untuk menggembirakan hati kita bila nasi ayam yang dimakan itu dibelanja oleh kawan kita.

11. Dan tahukah anda bahawa hampir kesemua pembaca buletin ini telah mencuba untuk menyentuh telinga menggunakan siku.............CAYALAH!!!!!!!

wakakaka i pun terkene... ciss betul !!!

My Dil Goes Mmmmm

English Version

way that ur groovin
way that ur movin
girl u gonna make me lose my mind
things that ur doin
luv everything about u
dont wanna b without u
i see u standin there... u look so fine
my dil goes mmm mmm mmm (x4)

way that ur playin
things that ur sayin
boy u gonna make me lose my mind
say that ur stayin
theres just sumthin about u
cant stand to b without u
the magic that u do plays on me fine
my dil goes mmm mmm mmm (x4)

yeah... this drive was meant to b
yeah... ur still the one for me
yeah... im sayin wat i feel
yeah... i know this luvs for real
drivin me crazy with all of ur ups and downs
rockin me... shockin me... spinnin me round n round
theres just sumthin about u
cant stand to b without u
n everytime i see u by ma side
my dil goes mmm mmm mmm (x4)

girl... uve got me such a tease
yeah... u got me on my knees
girl... u got it goin on
yeah... u can do nothin wrong
the way u look at me magic is all around
uve got a grip on me... im spinnin round n round
luv everythin about u
dont wanna b without u
n everytime i see u by ma side
my dil goes mmm mmm mmm (x4)

Hindi Version

--MALE--
aati hai woh aise chal ke
jaise jannat mein raheti hai
dekhti hai sabko aaise
jaise sabko woh saheti hai
par gusse main jab aaye
aur aankhein woh dikhlaye
ladte ladte galti se muskaaye
my dil goes mmmm - 4

--FEMALE--
karti hoon jab usse baatein
lagta hai sone waala hai
soke jab jab bhi woh jaage
lagta hai rone waala hai
par chupke se woh aaye
meri neend se mujhe jayage
le baahon mein aur khudh hi gir jaaye
my dil goes mmmm - 4

--MALE--
haan, woh na na karti hai
haan, bada akarti hai
haan, thodi si ziddi hai
haan, akal se piddi hai
jaate hain sab woh aaye
na aaye woh jaati hai
tedhi in baaton se mujhko satati hai
har waqt se pehle aana
sunna na koi bahana
par dekhna mera rasta rozana
my dil goes mmmm - 4

--FEMALE--
haan, picture mein rota hai
haan, khulle mooh sota hai
haan, zara nalayak hai
haan, pitne ke layak hai
jaane kya kehta hai
jaane kya karta hai
sofe pe chadhta hai
pardo se ladta hai
jab karne lage safaai
samjho ke shaamat aayi
phir thak ke jab leta hai angdai
my dil goz mmmm - 4

--MALE--
haan, thodi alag si hai
haan, thodi galat si hai

--FEMALE--
haan, thoda alag sa hai
haan, thoda galat sa hai

--MALE--
aisi bhi hogi woh aisa na socha tha

--FEMALE--
aisa hi hoga woh aisa hi socha tha
kyun lagta hai yeh apna

--MALE--
yeh sach hai yeh sapna

--MALE--fe
dar lagta hai kahin ho na jaaye jhooth

--MALE--both
my dil goes mmmm - 12

BELIEVE IN LOVE

How does it feel, babe
To taste sweet revenge
Do you want me on my knees
How does it feel, babe
To let me feel your strength
Don't be cruel, can't you see

If you don't catch me now, I can't stop falling down
Just one more night and the devil's got my soul
I need your love babe, don't tell me "no way"
Babe I miss you so much more than words can say

How does it feel, babe
To kill our destiny
I swear I'm not gonna crawl, oh no
How does it feel, babe
To make a fool out of me
How can you be so cold

Baby our love's got what it takes
To give us one more chance to start again
Baby our love will find a way
As long as we believe in love

Afghan Origin

Descendants of the tribes of AFGHANA. Pakhtun, Pashtun, Pathan, Pukhtoon etc are some other names for Afghan. Their language is Pashto. They are descendants of Hazrat Ibrahim (ABRAHAM).

When I was a teenager I used to go to Mahabat khan jumat in Peshawar. After prayers we would sit with tablighi jumat. I still remember when I asked a spingeray from tablighis: was there any prophet among pashtuns, the old man answered yes of course: Khalil khan (Abraham), Isaac khan (Isac), Israel khan (Jacob),Yousaf khan (Joseph), Musa khan (Moses), Isa khan (Jesus), they were all Pashtuns (Hebrews).

I thought "Baba jore da churso suta walae da, Zaka gaday waday wai". I could not believe he was telling me something very important. I thought all prophets were Arabs, at least that’s the Arab propaganda to get respect and call themselves sayyid and exploit Pashtuns. In fact the real children of prophets are Pashtuns. All these prophets spoke Hebrew not Arabic and they were not Arabs at all.

In Hebrew Abraham sounds Afroim , Avram , Afram etc.( In Pashto we use words zar-ghan etc (which can be explained as goldlike or from gold, etc).

Afr-ghan (meaning from Abraham) gave origin to Afghan. (Also Hebrew is ibrani -ibran-afghan and ibrani-ifghani (Pashto).

The holy book of David (Hazrat Daud) was Zabur (the Psalms), and hence Pashtuns use words Zaba-language or tongue or promise (the message or promise of God to Abraham and his descendants, zabardast- fantastic, Zabul-a region in Afghanistan. (Many words are used in Pashto -spinzar, srazar, sanzarkhel, zartasha, zamina, zarina, zarghon shah, zarghona, zahra, zanana, etc)

Today some tribes use word jaba instead of zaba.

The name of Abraham’s grandfather was TERAH and father was AZAR. Abraham lived in Babul and the king at that time was Nimrod.

When Hebrews settled down in Afghanistan they named different regions to represent their history eg.

NB! (At that time this region was called khurasan meaning kha urasan-meaning we got here safely).

TERAH (Grandfather of hazrat Ibrahim) and JAMROD, NIMROZ (nimrod),

AZAR (father of Hazrat Ibrahim). Srazar, spinzar, zarghona, zarghonshah, zarmina, zartasha, azara - another word for Afghans. Afgans living in district hazara in NWFP. Word Hazara is mistakenly used for Mongols in Afghanistan. When real azara migrated to Hazara, abbotabad, Gilgit and Kashmir areas, the areas they came from were taken by Chengez army and those mongols came to be known as Hazaras in Afghanistan. While real azaras are living in pashtunkhwa, most of them speak hindko but they are real Afghans. Also Gilgit are Gilzai. Kashmiris are also Afghans (kasi is a Pashtun tribe, mir is a Pashto word e.g mirali; it’s actually kasimiris-kashmir. You will be astonished to know that Butt living in punjab and kashmirs are actually buttkhel Afghans (buttagram, buttkhela etc). No matter what language they have adopted during process of assimilation they were and are Afghans.

Yasrab (Yathrub) was a big Israelite city later named Madina in Arabic. The present 10 or 20 million Jews are only a small tiny portion of a huge Hebrew family.

The theory that the Pashtun or "ethnic Afghans" are descended from the ancient Israelites—more precisely, from the perspective of Jewish history the Lost Ten Tribes of Israel— has a longstanding basis as a tradition among the Pashtun themselves, was widely accepted by 19th century British scholars, and has been accepted by some reasonably recent and prominent individuals such as Itzhak Ben-Zvi, second President of Israel. However, contemporary anthropologists continue to debate this, putting forth an eastern Iranian people relation to the other peoples of the Iranian plateau based upon strong genetic and linguistic evidence, in addition to other possibilities such as admixture with invaders and groups that migrated to the region now inhabited by the Pashtuns.

Whether or not the Pashtuns are in fact derived from one ethnic group is unknown, as no comprehensive study of them as a whole group has ever been completed.

The claim of Afghans to be the Bani Israel (Children of Israel) is not founded on oral tradition alone. It is supported by ancient monuments, old inscriptions, manuscripts, and historical works, many in the public domain, and many others in private collections. Of recent report is the 12th century Hebrew cemetery a mile and a half from the base of the Tower of Jam in the middle of a very desolate region of Western Afghanistan. [New York Times Magazine, 42, Aug. 25, 2002]

One of the most ancient manuscripts available is Rauza ul Albab fi Tawarikh-ul-Akabir wal Ansab – The Garden of the Learned in the History of Great Men and Genealogies – by Abu Suleman Daud bin Abul Fazal Muhammad Albenaketi which was written in 1317 AD. The author in his Introduction explains that ever since the times of Moses the ancestors of Afghans have had to face great hardships. They were expelled from place to place and exterminated. Their ancient ancestors were sacked more than once and carried into captivity. In Chapter I a detailed history of Yacub (Jacob) is given and in Chapter II the genealogies of the Afghan tribes are further traced.

Bukhtawar Khan in his most valuable universal history Mirat-ul-Alam – The Mirror of the World – gives a vivid account of the journeys of the Afghans from the Holy Land to Ghor, Ghazni, and Kabul. Similarly Hafiz Rahmat bin Shah Alam in his Khulasat-ul-Ansab and Fareed-ud-Din Ahmad in Risala-i-Ansab-i-Afghana provide the history of the Afghans and deal with their genealogies.

Two of the most famous historical works on the subject are Tarikh-i-Afghana – History of the Afghans – by Niamatullah, which was translated by Bernard Dork in 1829, and Tarikh-i-Hafiz Rahmatkhani, by Hafiz Muhammad Zadeek which he wrote in 1770. These books deal with the early history of the Afghans, their origin and wanderings in general. They particularly discuss the Yusuf Zyes (the Yusefzai, "Sons of Joseph") and their occupation of Kabul, Bajoor, Swat, and Peshawar.

Additional authors Syed Jamal-ud-Din Afghani (Tarikh-i-Afghana, the History of Afghans), and Syed Abdul Jabbar Shah (Mun'ameen-i-Bani Israel, MS.), ex-Ruler of Swat, discuss the question exhaustively and come to the conclusion that the Afghans represent the Lost Tribes of Israel as viewed from the perspective of the Jewish/Western world.

If we turn to Anglo-Western writers during the time of the British Empire we find that they also have come to the same conclusion. The first to reach such is Henry Vansittart. In a letter which appeared in Indian Researches he commented on the Israelitish descent of the Afghans. He expressed the opinion that the claim of the Afghans to be Bani Israel are more than justified given his own observations of their indigenous traditions. [Indian Researches, 1788, Vol. 2: 69]

Sir Alexander Brunes in his Travels into Bokhara, which he published in 1835, speaking of the Afghans said: "The Afghans call themselves Bani Israel, or the children of Israel, but consider the term Yahoodi, or Jew, to be one of reproach. They say that Nebuchadnezzar, after the overthrow of Israel, transplanted them into the towns of Ghore near Bamean and that they were called after their Chief Afghana… they say that they lived as Israelites till Khalid summoned them in the first century of the Mohammadans… Having precisely stated the traditions and history of the Afghans I see no good reason for discrediting them… the Afghans look like Jews and the younger brother marries the widow of the elder. The Afghans entertain strong prejudices against the Jewish nation, which would at least show that they have no desire to claim – without just cause – a descent from them. [Sir Alexander Brunes, Travels into Bokhara, Vol. 2:139-141.]

Brunes was again in 1837 sent as the first British Envoy to the Court of Kabul. For some time he was the guest of King Dost Muhammad Khan. He questioned the King about the descent of the Afghans from the Israelites. The King replied that "his people had no doubt of that, though they repudiated the idea of being Jews".

William Moorcroft traveled during 1819 to 1825 through various countries adjoining India, including Afghanistan. "The Khaibarees," he says, "are tall and have a singularly Jewish cast of features." At Push Kyun, within Afghan territory, he came across a very old copy of the Old Testament in Hebrew. [Moorcroft, Travels in Himalayan Provinces of Hindustan and the Punjab; in Ladakh and Kashmir, in Peshawar, Kabul, Kunduz and Bokhara, 12]

J.B. Frazer in his book, An Historical and Descriptive Account of Persia and Afghanistan, which he published in 1843, says: "According to their own tradition they believe themselves to be descendants from the Hebrews… they preserved the purity of their religion until they met with Islam." [J.B. Frazer, A Historical and Descriptive Account of Persia and Afghanistan, 298]

J.P. Ferrier wrote his History of the Afghans in 1858. It was translated by Capt. W. M. Jesse. He too was disposed to believe that the Afghans represented the Ten Tribes of Israel. In support of his view he recorded, among others, a very significant fact: “When Nadir Shah marching to the conquest of India arrived at Peshawar, the chief of the tribe of Yoosoof Zyes (Sons of Joseph) presented him with a Bible written in Hebrew and several other articles that had been used in their ancient worship and which they had preserved. These articles were at once recognized by the Jews who followed the camp.” – J.P. Ferrier, History of the Afghans, 4.

George Moore published his famous work The Lost Tribes in 1861. He gave numerous facts to prove that these tribes are traceable to the Afghans. After giving details of the character of the wandering Israelites, he said: "And we find that the very natural character of Israel reappear in all its life and reality in countries where people call themselves Bani Israel and universally claim to be the descendants of the Lost Tribes. The nomenclature of their tribes and districts, both in ancient Geography, and at the present day, confirms this universal natural tradition. Lastly, we have the route of the Israelites from Media to Afghanistan and India marked by a series of intermediate stations bearing the names of several of the tribes and clearly indicating the stages of their long and arduous journey." [George Moore, The Lost Tribes]

Moore goes on to say: "Sir William Jones, Sir John Malcolm and the missing Chamberlain, after full investigation, were of the opinion that the Ten Tribes migrated to India, Tibet, and Cashemire [Kashmir] through Afghanistan." [George Moore, The Lost Tribes]

Moore has mentioned only three eminent writers on the subject. But reference can also be made to General Sir George Macmunn (Afghanistan from Darius to Amanullah, 215), Col. G.B. Malleson (The History of Afghanistan from the Earliest Period to the outbreak of the War of 1878, 39), Col. Failson, (History of Afghanistan, 49), George Bell (Tribes of Afghanistan, 15), E. Balfour (Encyclopedia of India, article on Afghanistan), Sir Henry Yule (Encyclopædia Britannica, article on Afghanistan), and the Hon. Sir George Rose (Rose, The Afghans, the Ten Tribes and the Kings of the East, 26). They, one and all, independently came to the same conclusion. Another, Major H.W. Bellew, went on a political mission to Kandahar and published his impressions in his Journal of a Mission to Kandahar, 1857-8. He then wrote in 1879 his book Afghanistan and Afghans. In 1880 he was sent, once again on another mission to Kabul, and in the same year he delivered two lectures before the United Services Institute at Simla: "A New Afghan Question, or "Are the Afghans Israelites?" and "Who are the Afghans?" He then published another book: The Races of Afghanistan. Finally he collected all his facts in An Enquiry into the Ethnography of Afghanistan, which was published in 1891.

In this work he mentions Killa Yahoodi ("Fort of the Jews") (H.W. Bellew, An Enquiry into the Ethnography of Afghanistan, 34), as being the name of the eastern boundary of their country, and also speaks of Dasht-i-Yahoodi ("Jewish plain") (ibid., 4), a place in Mardan District. He concludes: "The Afghan’s accounts of Jacob and Esau, of Moses and the Exodus, of the Wars of the Israelites with the Amalekites and conquest of Palestine, of the Ark of the Covenant and of the election of Saul to the Kingdom, etc., etc., are clearly founded on the Biblical records, and clearly indicate a knowledge of the Old Testament, which if it does not prove the presence of the Christians at least corroborates their assertion that the Afghans were readers of the Pentateuch up to the time of the appearance of Mohammad." (Ibid., 191)

Note, it is well understood and undisputed that there have never been Christian communities in Afghanistan pre- or for many centuries after the dawn of Islam.

Thomas Ledlie wrote an article in the Calcutta Review, which he subsequently elaborated and published in two volumes. He expressed his views on the subject very clearly: "The Europeans always confuse things, when they consider the fact that the Afghans call themselves Bani Israel and yet reject their Jewish descent. Indeed, the Afghans discard the very idea of any descent from the Jews. They, however, yet claim themselves to be of Bani Israel." [Thomas Ledlie, More Ledlian, Calcutta Review, January, 1898]

Ledlie goes on to explain: "Israelites, or the Ten Tribes, to whom the term Israel was applied – after their separation from the House of David, and the tribe of Judah, which tribe retained the name of Judah and had a distinct history ever after. These last alone are called Jews and are distinguished from the Bani Israel as much in the East as in the West." [Ibid., 7]

Among more contemporary writers Dr. Alfred Edersheim says: "Modern investigations have pointed to the Nestorians and latterly, with almost convincing evidence (so far as it is possible) to the Afghans as descendants from the Lost Tribes." [Dr. Alfred Edersheim, The Life and Times of Jesus, the Messiah, 15]

Sir Thomas Holditch in his The Gates of India says: "But there is one important people (of whom there is much more to be said) who call themselves Bani Israel, who claim a descent from Cush and Ham, who have adopted a strange mixture of Mosaic Law in Ordinances in their moral code, who (some sections at least) keep a feast which strongly accords with the Passover,… and for whom no one has yet been able to suggest any other origin than the one they claim, and claim with determined force, and these people are the overwhelming inhabitants of Afghanistan." – Sir Thomas Holditch, The Gates of India, 49.

There are many additional references, recorded incidents, manuscripts and artifacts related to the Hebraic history of the Pashtuns for the dedicated objective researcher who seeks them out.

In his 1957 classic The Exiled and the Redeemed, Itzhak Ben-Zvi, second President of Israel, writes that Hebrew migrations into Afghanistan began, "with a sprinkling of exiles from Samaria who had been transplanted there by Shalmaneser, King of Assyria (719 BC). From the recurrent references in the Book of Esther to the "one hundred and twenty seven dominions" of King Ahasuerus, the deduction is permissible that eastern Afghanistan was among them." [The Exiled and the Redeemed, 176]

Ben-Zvi continues, "The Afghan tribes, among whom the Jews have lived for generations, are Moslems who retain to this day their amazing tradition about their descent from the Ten Tribes. It is an ancient tradition, and one not without some historical plausibility. A number of explorers, Jewish and non-Jewish, who visited Afghanistan from time to time, and students of Afghan affairs who probed into literary sources, have referred to this tradition, which was also discussed in several encyclopedias in European languages. The fact that this tradition, and no other, has persisted among these tribes is itself a weighty consideration. Nations normally keep alive memories passed by word of mouth from generation to generation, and much of their history is based not on written records but on verbal tradition. This was particularly so in the case of the nations and the communities of the Levant. The people of the Arabian Peninsula, for example, derived all their knowledge of an original pagan cult, which they abandoned in favor of Islam, from such verbal tradition. So did the people of Iran, formerly worshipers of the religion of Zoroaster; the Turkish and Mongol tribes, formerly Buddhists and Shamanists; and the Syrians who abandoned Christianity in favor of Islam. Therefore, if the Afghan tribes persistently adhere to the tradition that they were once Hebrews and in course of time embraced Islam, and there is not an alternative tradition also existent among them, the matter certainly deserves careful and critical examination." [The Exiled and the Redeemed]

Ben-Zvi continues to give first hand Jewish witness accounts of the Pashtuns, and other interesting information.

Today, one of the most pre-eminent living Western researchers in this area is Rabbi Avichail of Israel.

Gotta Love You

Song Title: Gotta Love You
Artist: Wilber Pan (Pan Wei Bo)

(Girl) I need your love everyday
(G) I’ll let you guess what I’m thinking
(G) I love you
(G) I want you to let me live a splendid life every day
(G) You say it [I love you] every day
(G) What exactly is true love?
(G) I love you
(G) How much did you really love me? Your words are faster than I can imagine

(Wilber) Is it that we have too many and too rich in emotions?
(W) Or is there a pre-arrangement by God?
(W) Were we meant for each other?
(W) Or are we just can’t stand to be too nice?
(W) There was one time that you didn’t come to the date
(W) And I cried like a baby
(W) Are we too eager to prove that I’m alive?
(W) Or is it that I don’t like to be doing nothing?
(W) Oh! Baby

(Together) Gotta love you
(W) Otherwise how can I have happiness?
(T) Gotta love you
(W) Otherwise sadness starts to fill me up
(T) Gotta love you
(W) Otherwise I will lost my future
(T) It’s as if I can’t help myself and I can’t be myself and felt I’m a loser
(T) But I’m having a splendid day every day

Repeat

(W) (Rap)
I ask girlfriend how you been
It has come and gone a few times, I’ve never thought of this
That love can become so helplessness. Is it fate?
Is sadness also an arrangement by God?
I have no other way. Day after day, who should I think everyday?
I’m sincere, you’re sincere, however the environment surrounds us can never
Let us keep on this freedom to love each other like this
I’m splendid; you stare into the space, two hearts swinging uncertainly
The future that we should have, is it really that unavailable to us?
I don’t want to hurt you anymore
You’re my girl My girl My friend
How much I love you so so much baby
Watching your sorrow, how can I face it maturely?
I’m sorry you’re my sweetheart
My love My one & only baby

Repeat

(W) Will be a little be of helplessness?
(G) Is this a little bit too faster?
(T) But the love you give me
(T) Let me develops the habit of dependence
(T) Fill the heart with the rhythm of love

Repeat

Minah Tudung

minah minah tudung zaman sekarang ramai cacat otak [bodoh]
pakai tudung tapi pakai pakai nya ketat ketat [bodoh]
ada pula pakai tudung tapi pakai t-shirt pulak [bodoh]
mana ke tidak masyarakat kita di pandang rendah [bodoh]

kluar dengan mak pakai tudung
pakai sopan aurat tertutup
tapi bila kluar dengan kawan aurat terdedah
bagi lelaki tengok percuma

aku sendiri tengok pun heran
mana tak heran
agama kuat tapi baju ketat
bukak tudung rambut perang

perang..
perang..
konon tu nak tunjuk belang
tindik sini tindik sana
bukan di telinga saja
lidah pun ada
muka decent
tetapi perangai nonsense
ikut sesuka hati dia
tapi tak ikut segi agama

depan ibubapa pakai baju lengan panjang seluar panjang
tapi di belakang
lain citer macam monster
cabut kening ada tatu di badan dia
pakai makeup pakai lipstik punya tebal
macam [momok]
macam [momok]

masyallah..
masyallah..
tak bleh angkat
tak bleh angkat
tengok dia
tengok dia
goyang pantat
goyang pantat

masuk club pakai tudung
pegi tandas bukak tudung

ooo..
kemana pegi budaya..
kemana pegi agama..
mana pegi melayu kita..

dengar sini semua
jangan ikut trend masa kita
kita rosak kita hancur
sapa nak jawab bila kita di kubur
mak nak jawapkan? [sorry sikit!]
bapak jawapkan? [sorry sikit!]
atuk jawapkan? [sorry sikit!]
berani buat berani tanggung sendiri

pikir baik baik..
pikir masak masak..
jangan kita menyesal di hari kelak..

berubah lah kamu sebelum kamu di berubahkan
ye la tuk, atuk jugak yang pandai kan..
whatever la tuk..
eh eh budak budak ni..

The Taklamakan (also Taklimakan) is a desert of Central Asia, in the Xinjiang Uighur Autonomous Region of the People's Republic of China. Some references state that Taklamakan means "if you go in, you won't come out"; others state that it means "Desert of Death" or "Place of no return". .

"Makan" is a Turkic word meaning "place", of Arabic origin: the word may mean something different if treated as original pre-Islamic native Turkic.

It covers an area of 270,000 km² of the Tarim Basin, extending between roughly 78° to 88° E longitude and 37° to 40° N latitude. It is crossed at its northern and at its southern edge by two branches of the Silk Road. The key oasis towns are Kashgar, Yarkand, and Khotan (Hetian) in the South-West, Kuqa and Turfan in the North, and Loulan and Dunhuang in the East.

The White Jade River flows into the Taklamakan.

The archeological treasures found in its sand buried ruins point to Tocharian, early Hellenistic, and Indian/Buddhistic influences. Its treasures and dangers have been vividly described by Aurel Stein, Sven Hedin, Albert von Le Coq, and Paul Pelliot.

Numerous mummies, some 4000 years old, have been found in the region. They show the wide range of peoples who have passed through. Many of the mummies appear European and may have been members of the Tocharian people, who spoke an Indo-European language.

Later, the Taklamakan was inhabited by Turkic peoples. Starting with the Tang Dynasty, the Chinese periodically extended their control to the oasis cities of the Taklamakan in order to control the important silk route trade across Central Asia. Periods of Chinese rule were interspersed with rule by Turkic and Mongol and Tibetan peoples. The present population consists largely of Turkic Uyghur and Kazakh people in the countryside, while the population of the larger cities is predominantly Han Chinese.

Bruce Sterling has written a science fiction short story titled Taklamakan and set in this desert.

Some photo of Taklamakan:-

Miss You Like The Desert Miss The Rain

I step off the train, I'm walking down your street again,
and past your door,but you don't live there any more.

It's years since you've been there. Now you've disappeared
somewhere like outer space,you've found some better place,

and I miss you - like the desert miss the rain.

Could you be dead? You always were two steps ahead of everyone.
We'd walk behind while you would run.

I look up at your house, and I can almost hear you shout down to me
where I always used to be,

and I miss you - like the desert miss the rain.

Back on the train, I ask why did I come again?
Can I confess I've been hanging round your old address?

And the years have proved to offer nothing since you moved.
You're long gone but I can't move on,

and I miss you - like the desert miss the rain.